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If you're preparing for
something important, like a job interview, you can coach yourself to
perform better. Here's a really simple resource that you can use to decide
what you're good at and what skills you want to develop through your
career progression.
Part One
First, think of a few
times - between six and ten - when you have been in a specific work
situation where someone has really impressed you or you have learnt
something very valuable or powerful. Perhaps you can think of times when
you could clearly see that a customer was really valuing your help, or
when a colleague was doing something really skillful yet making it look
easy.
Write down a list of these
times. You don't need to write a full description, only something that
will remind you of the specific experience.
Next, allow yourself to
really daydream into each of these memories and relive each experience as
if it is happening to you right now. As you watch the events, notice what
the person in question is doing. Pay specific attention to how they look
and how they sound. At first, you may be tempted to think of words like
'confident' or 'calm'. Resist this temptation - you must notice only what
you see, hear and feel. Notice how they sit, how they breathe, how they
use their eyes and facial expression and how they use their tone of voice.
Notice as much as you can and then write down the points that seem most
important to you, or that coincide with a turning point in the meeting.
Now that you have a full
list, collect together all the common elements. Collect up all the
specific behaviours that are important in this list and get ready to
daydream again.
Imagine yourself in a
future situation, doing a job that is your dream job or that is perhaps a
stretch for you right now in terms of career progression. You could even
imagine yourself doing something that you really want to do but that is
beyond your current capability.
As you build the
experience, add in all the elements from your list. Hear yourself with the
tone of voice that you noticed, saying the kinds of things that really
made a difference. Imagine yourself from someone else's perspective and
see yourself doing the things on your list. Lastly, notice how it feels,
and how that feeling changes throughout the experience.
Repeat this last part
several times, in different places or at different times. If you like, you
can even run a series of daydreams at intervals along your career path,
with a different job in each daydream.
Finally, run a new
daydream of your interview using everything that you have learned so far.
Part Two
Make a new list of people
that you don't like or that you have little respect for. Perhaps there are
people who have done things that you don't approve of. Get all of that bad
feeling out of your head and onto the paper.
Next, remember a specific
time when you were in a situation with each of the people on the list.
Imagine yourself as a
completely neutral bystander and for each situation on the list, ask
yourself this question:
"What experience,
beliefs, thoughts or skills must this person have in order for this
behaviour to be the best choice they can make at this moment?"
When you have an answer to
that question and have written it on your list, ask yourself this
question:
"What outcome must
this person be aiming for that would make this behaviour a good
choice?"
And so you can update your
list with the answer to these questions for each person listed.
Next, create two new lists
from this original list. Create a list of just the outcomes, behaviours
and anything you have learned from the exercise one one piece of paper. On
a second piece of paper, list out the people, situations or your
objections or feelings. Take this second list and look at it closely - let
those feelings build up. Now tear it up and throw it away.
What you're left with is a
list of ways that you could achieve particular outcomes but that you
choose not to use right now. Perhaps in some way or in some place and
time, these behaviours may be useful for achieving a particular outcome.
What will make you successful is having a range of behaviour to choose
from, not just one way to behave, even though you currently believe it is
'the right way'.
Part Three
Take your two lists, which
now represent "things that you admire about yourself and can do
well" and "things that you could do if you wanted, but normally
choose not to"
Create a new series of
daydreams incorporating everything you have learned from your two lists.
These daydreams can be new work situations or interviews, or any other
experience that will be useful. Notice how good it feels to have this wide
repertoire of behaviour to choose from, and notice how that enables you to
achieve things that you could not have dreamt of before. Notice how your
future changes now that you can make better choices about it. Notice how
your future is yours to create.
As Willy Wonka said,
"We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams"
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